The NorMel House

The heat of a hundred suns The weight of a thousand worlds The sad, slow slide into darkness. There's no handholds in the wall No ledge to catch me as I fall.  My body grows numb as the light grows dim Fog fills my mind and all focus is lost But there's so much more.  I have no control Thoughts that aren't mine scream through my head And yet, not louder than the pain.  It pulls at every tendon Every muscle stretched beyond its limit Hard as rock It never stops And nothing ever fixes it.  I slip down farther My heart gets harder The pieces left are turning to ash. I thought when it got shattered It couldn't get any worse.  Every time another little heart stopped I thought surely mine will too.  Piece after piece, as history repeats  I go farther into the deep.  Melynda Hoeksema 

Waiting is hard, and let's be real here, waiting sucks. But although waiting isn't fun, there are some things worth waiting for. The Lord is always worth waiting for. His plan, His purpose, whatever He has set for me, I know His plans for me are good. 

This text holds so much meaning to me. I'm not really the bubbly, giggly type, although I do have my moments, but this passage resonates with my soul. There's a very key word in the passage that many don't realize. I don't have to be happy and bubbly, I don't have to be joyful about the hard times or pretend that I'm happy with trials because that's not what this text is about. It's about rejoicing IN the Lord regardless of situation. I can always be thankful and rejoice in God and His glorious gift of salvation. No matter what I've lost or what I grieve or go through I can rejoice in the Lord. For this I am eternally thankful. 

In a world so full of selfishness it often seems like faithfulness is rarely seen in anyone or anything. Marriages fall apart, commitment is rare, and people just don't keep their word. Yet, God is not like man. He truely is faithful. Even when everyone else turns away and all else fails God's love never fails. May God write this on my heart and direct my every thought to be like His. Let my word be binding and trustworthy and my heart be faithful to God first.

I've been quite busy on the crochet front these past few months, as well as renos and so many other things going on however none of that is what's on my mind right now.  I dont seem to be able to attain happy this time of year. Too many traumatic anniversaries, too much sadness and reminders of what will never be. Too many reminders from people that make it seem like I dont have a family because it's just my spouse and I alive. Our opinions don't count when it comes to deciding holiday events because we're expected to go along with those who's children are living. While part of me understand this, another part is screaming inside at how wrong it all is. It's all just a reminder of what we lost. A reminder of the things we'll never go through, the joys and fun parts of Christmas that just seem pointless because there's no little ones to share it with.  Then there's the final acceptance of the fact that my husband and I don't really need anythi...

Crocheted some octos including a mama and some babies! And yes, all 3 of these babies fit inside the mama! They're so cute 😍 😍😍 This pattern was definitely worth buying as I'm sure to use it lots  #BernatBlanketYarn @allfromjade pattern From the Mel of the NorMel House, crocheting is so much more than just a hobby!