The NorMel House

  5 years ago I held a precious baby boy in my hands, amazed at the intricacies of how we are made. Filled with sorrow that I wouldn't get to watch this little boy grow up, and wondering if my heart could possibly  ever heal from this. Five years ago I said goodbye too soon to my son. Two days ago I found myself in dejavu. Sitting in a hospital bed, holding my precious girl, amazed at her tiny hands and saying goodbye too soon. Five years ago with little Denver Hoeksema in my hands and two days ago, with Dawson Izzy Hoeksema, the worst moment in my life was repeated. 2 babies. 2 awful and world altering days. My heart was once again crushed; for the 9th time overwhelming grief was my companion. I can't even begin to explain the thoughts in my head, the physical pain, or the millions of changing emotions going through me right now. I'm hanging on to a prayer, desperately pleading for this crushing weight to be lifted because I just can't do this. I can't imagine maki...

I never saw you smile Never heard you laugh aloud But my heart still beats for you Still cries for you Would die for you You're my every thought My world has shattered apart The pieces are scattered  My thoughts are scattered  My hopes shattered. I dont see the point this time I just don't understand it at all Lord, how do You choose Who has to lose How do You choose

Dead Dead inside and yet wishing it was actually true. Because it isn't. The truth is I'm alive. I wouldn't really call it living though. I'm existing in a world made up of pain, agony, exhaustion, confusion, and simply existing through it because nothing has killed me yet. Not the times of complete numbness to the world around me, not the extreme emotions that hit like a storm and threaten to take my last breath. They never do, though I wish they would. Seems anything would be better than this. Not too many people would understand my plight, though some may understand parts. I was ok-ish. For a person with depression, Fibromyalgia, Chronic Myofascial Pain Disorder, PMDD, back issues, complete lack of immune system and so many other health problems I was ok. For a while. I accepted that God has taken all 8 of our children to be with Him. I accepted that I would always live in pain. I accepted and even got to the point where I don't even want to raise children in thi...

"I am with you always, even to the end of the age." Matthew 28:20 Yesterday, today and every day.  I am nothing. In and of myself I am just a broken sinner. But for the grace of God I would be lost. In a broken world filled with sorrow, pain, disease, fights and anger only God's grace can heal the heart, calm the soul and bring redemption. May I always seek you first. 

When facing the problems of this world do you believe that God can fix it? It's easy to praise Him when life is easy, but like today's #TuesdayTunes says we need to praise the Lord in every moment! "Praise the Lord with the world on your shoulders Praise the Lord when it seems too hard Praise the Lord 'cause in every moment Jesus Christ is Lord Even in the middle of the long, dark night There is always grace enough today to Praise the Lord" Take a listen to The City Harmonic singing "Praise the Lord"  https://youtu.be/Lm7V-26flkQ #PraisetheLord #Hisgraceisenough #ChristisLord #gracefortoday #TheCityHarmonic

It's easy to believe God can heal the sick when you're healthy. It's easy to believe He can fix broken relationships when yours are good, but when you're confronted by the reality of death and the harshness of this world it can be a lot harder to believe that God can fix it. Jesus said trust me now! Trust that if you believe you will see God's glory. Believing is seeing! Pray for eyes that see! Believe that He is the Saviour sent by God. Believe in Christ for salvation is only in Him; only He has the power to save and to overcome sin and death. The enemy seems strong but when you look away from this broken world to the reality that is found in Christ's resurrection you will see the glory and wisdom of God. As you go through the week pray for eyes that see, and believe. 

By now hundreds of thousands of people have been tested for covid, however if you haven't, you aren't missing anything fun. We had to book our appointments 2 days away as the testing facilities were so busy. They sent us to an arena and told us to go in through the Zamboni doors.  With lots of "No Pictures" signs and double checking health cards we drove in a circle on the arena floor. Last stop? Poking a plastic brush-like thing up your nostril... Not a pleasant feeling, but what can you do? Then it was a waiting game...in isolation with the hubby and 4-legged babies. As symptoms left, new ones came. My body went through all kinds of things and when I called the test results line 5 days later the lady told me it sounded like covid to her, but my results weren't in yet.  Eventually I called and they told me the test was negative but by that point I'd already been quarantined for 2 weeks just in case. Regardless of what it was I had I was still recovering at th...