Please pray

 


5 years ago I held a precious baby boy in my hands, amazed at the intricacies of how we are made. Filled with sorrow that I wouldn't get to watch this little boy grow up, and wondering if my heart could possibly  ever heal from this. Five years ago I said goodbye too soon to my son. Two days ago I found myself in dejavu. Sitting in a hospital bed, holding my precious girl, amazed at her tiny hands and saying goodbye too soon. Five years ago with little Denver Hoeksema in my hands and two days ago, with Dawson Izzy Hoeksema, the worst moment in my life was repeated. 2 babies. 2 awful and world altering days. My heart was once again crushed; for the 9th time overwhelming grief was my companion. I can't even begin to explain the thoughts in my head, the physical pain, or the millions of changing emotions going through me right now. I'm hanging on to a prayer, desperately pleading for this crushing weight to be lifted because I just can't do this. I can't imagine making it out of this, comfort seems intangible and out of reach. Only God can lift this weight, only He can and will carry me through.

When I made this little 'angel sack' I never imagined I'd be the one to use it. 2 little hands from 2 little babies. I await the day I can hold their hands, and their siblings as well. 




Comments

  1. Marie31 December 2020 at 20:04

    Precious. These are the only memories you get. Cherish them❤️

    ReplyDelete

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