In God's Hands
7...
7 pregnancies...
6 babies in Heaven, and 1 I'm not sure of. Its been a rough go for the last while. When you think you don't want children anymore, but at the same time get choked up over things you don't expect anymore. Got to the point where I was convinced I was pregnant, and over 9 days took 3 pregnancy tests that all said negative... But I knew that couldn't be right so I called the fertility clinic and they said to come in for bloodwork... So I went in, and tried not to think about the phone call I'd get later in the day.
I ran errands, I did some shopping and eventually ran out of things to do and started for home. And then the speakers in the car rang, just as I pulled in my driveway. Probably a good thing as I had a meltdown when she spoke. "I have the results from your bloodwork and it is positive but the number is pretty low. Its only at 28. We want you to come back in two days to repeat it and we'll monitor you for a bit." I bawled, all out gasping and crying. I called my wonderful husband and tried to tell him what happened and asked him to come home. Apparently I wasn't easy to understand but he got that I needed him so he came home. He hugged me and told me he would always be here with and for me. And then he stepped us sideways and said "and here", stepped again and said "and here. And where ever you need me." His sweet yet comic confession was exactly what I needed. God truly blessed me with a man that always knows how to make me smile and feel loved. My emotions were so confusing. I wanted to be happy but was terrified yet strangely felt like I had no emotions at all. The mind can be a confusing thing and emotions can be bittersweet. The next week or so I sat on pins waiting for the afternoon phonecalls. Til they said I was over 300 and to book an ultrasound in a week and a half...
We are all in God's Hands, and while the body and mind can make us run the gamut of emotions we need to trust He will always take care of us and give us all we have need of.
7...
7 babies in God's Hands
And many hands folded in prayer for them.
From the NorMel House, where things may never be normal but we love just the same
7 pregnancies...
6 babies in Heaven, and 1 I'm not sure of. Its been a rough go for the last while. When you think you don't want children anymore, but at the same time get choked up over things you don't expect anymore. Got to the point where I was convinced I was pregnant, and over 9 days took 3 pregnancy tests that all said negative... But I knew that couldn't be right so I called the fertility clinic and they said to come in for bloodwork... So I went in, and tried not to think about the phone call I'd get later in the day.
I ran errands, I did some shopping and eventually ran out of things to do and started for home. And then the speakers in the car rang, just as I pulled in my driveway. Probably a good thing as I had a meltdown when she spoke. "I have the results from your bloodwork and it is positive but the number is pretty low. Its only at 28. We want you to come back in two days to repeat it and we'll monitor you for a bit." I bawled, all out gasping and crying. I called my wonderful husband and tried to tell him what happened and asked him to come home. Apparently I wasn't easy to understand but he got that I needed him so he came home. He hugged me and told me he would always be here with and for me. And then he stepped us sideways and said "and here", stepped again and said "and here. And where ever you need me." His sweet yet comic confession was exactly what I needed. God truly blessed me with a man that always knows how to make me smile and feel loved. My emotions were so confusing. I wanted to be happy but was terrified yet strangely felt like I had no emotions at all. The mind can be a confusing thing and emotions can be bittersweet. The next week or so I sat on pins waiting for the afternoon phonecalls. Til they said I was over 300 and to book an ultrasound in a week and a half...
We are all in God's Hands, and while the body and mind can make us run the gamut of emotions we need to trust He will always take care of us and give us all we have need of.
7...
7 babies in God's Hands
And many hands folded in prayer for them.
From the NorMel House, where things may never be normal but we love just the same
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