Choosing Joy

Do you remember the first time you followed that strange little ritual of peeing on that oh so hated (and yet loved) little stick? Nervous, anxious, hopeful, scared and a single prayer repeating in your head. Do you remember all those emotions warring inside you? It's more likely you remember what happened next. Maybe it was positive and you were so excited you could hardly contain your joy. Maybe it was negative and you were disappointed or even sad enough you cried. I remember my first time. February 26th, 2013. I was so excited I took a second test just to make sure. My first child! She made me a mom. I never got to meet this little one, but from the moment I knew she was real (not just suspected, because I was sure I was pregnant before I even took the test) my whole outlook changed. Do you remember that first time you found out you were a mom? Do you remember the joy? Despite all that has happened since that moment do you ever try to capture that feeling again? Today I want to feel that happiness. My child deserves to have a parent that thinks of her and feels happiness and love. So does your child. Maybe, like me, your child was called into glory before you. Or maybe, you have a child that drives you crazy at times and makes you want to pull your hair out.  As I write that I'm chuckling to myself because I'm not normal. (I've never been "normal") I realize parents have a tough time dealing with their children sometimes; I can understand the times a parent is overwhelmed and frustrated. But here's the thing. My perspective is quite different than most. I see the little rascals, and the teasers, the children with too much energy (that comes out in all the wrong ways), the emotionally explosive children who haven't figured out how to regulate themselves and most of the time they make me smile and feel affection. I see the little wigglebums in church and I can't help but smile. I see the child who smiles mischievously and I have to contain my laughter. I'm sure its frustrating for the parent but those cheeky little grins show a joy I wish I could capture. Its precious. Joy is precious. It's definitely easier when it's someone else's child but I challenge you to remember the joy you once felt. Remember the positive emotions and try to feel them again. Especially in those tough moments! That's when you need to remember them the most. Instead of feeling sad about my first child, today I'm choosing to remember and be thankful for the good. When your child drives you mad or makes you feel overwhelmed, I challenge you to take a deep breath and remember that love. When you deal with your child from that place of happiness and love, your child can feel that. If that child is safely by our Saviour's side try not to feel sadness today. Try remember the joy of becoming a mom. The joy of knowing about the miracle growing inside you. That child is a gift. A beautiful gift. That child made you a mom. That child (and every child) is a miracle that God gave you. Cherish that child and try to think about that child from this perspective because that will come out in how you talk about, talk to our deal with your child. Next time your child drives you crazy or when the anniversary of their death approaches, choose joy. For your sake and theirs, choose joy.

Mel of the NorMel House. Choosing Joy today.