The NorMel House

The hardest part is not knowing what took my most precious gift away from me. It haunts me, never knowing what exactly went wrong. All I can think is it must be my fault. 

I dont like to think of or even admit to myself that I'm disabled. I hate asking for help. I hate knowing my house is always messy because I'm incapable of doing normal everyday things that most people do almost as easy as breathing. Because even breathing is hard; I have to remind myself to breath as I so often find myself holding my breath from the pain. I don't want to be this way. I don't like being this person. I'm so tired of being tired. Sick of being sick. I find myself slowly slipping into a darkness that's always so very hard to climb back out of. There's always something it seems, and I just don't know how to fix it. I want to make things, I love working hard on something and seeing it come together. At least I used to. I want to feel that again. I want to clean my house and feel proud of it. I still try, I do little bits at a time, all the time. Trying to find the balance between getting things done and setting off another flare up that takes...

The apostles returned to Jesus and told him all that they had done and taught. And he said to them, “Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while.” For many were coming and going, and they had no leisure even to eat. Mark 6:30‭-‬31 ESV God is omnipotent and yet He still cares for all our needs. I cannot grasp how omnipotent and powerful God is.  He intimately knows every single person, throughout all times, at every moment.  Not just your thoughts or your soul, but every hair, every freckle, every part of you! He knows every beat of your heart,  every teardrop you cry,  every single breath you take. There's not a single part of you He doesn't know. There's not a thing about you that He doesn't take care for. He wisely created us with bodies that tell us things constantly, to help us take care for our bodies too. Jesus told the disciples to rest and take time for to take care of themselves. Its easy to brush aside your own bodily needs when things get ...

 Have you ever gone through something and felt alone?  Maybe you lost a loved one, or had a serious illness. Maybe you live with chronic pain, or had a battle with cancer. Whatever it is that you have gone through, you may have felt that no one could possibly understand how hard it was or how broken you felt. I know I have. I've felt the crushing weight of grief, I've been misunderstood and felt the judgements of others, I've sat alone pouring my soul out to our Saviour. I felt alone. I didn't think anyone could possibly understand how it felt, but I was wrong. We only have to open our Bible to see how we are never alone! Our Saviour's love is so great and our God is so powerful that He is with us at all times! But that's not all! All throughout scripture we are told that God is not only with us, but He hears us, He heals us and He understands our pain. Zephaniah 3:17 He is in our midst! Psalm 56:8 He cares so much He even counts our tears! Psalm 18:6 He hear...

Do you remember the first time you followed that strange little ritual of peeing on that oh so hated (and yet loved) little stick? Nervous, anxious, hopeful, scared and a single prayer repeating in your head. Do you remember all those emotions warring inside you? It's more likely you remember what happened next. Maybe it was positive and you were so excited you could hardly contain your joy. Maybe it was negative and you were disappointed or even sad enough you cried. I remember my first time. February 26th, 2013. I was so excited I took a second test just to make sure. My first child! She made me a mom. I never got to meet this little one, but from the moment I knew she was real (not just suspected, because I was sure I was pregnant before I even took the test) my whole outlook changed. Do you remember that first time you found out you were a mom? Do you remember the joy? Despite all that has happened since that moment do you ever try to capture that feeling again? Today I want to...

9 years ago I found out the most exciting news ever! Not only was one test positive, but 2 tests! Norm and I were parents, and in 9 months we'd get to meet our beautiful child. We were ecstatic! By the time I went to see my doctor I had a bad feeling something wasn't right. My doctor passed it all off as first time mom jitters. And then at 13 weeks I had some spotting, and in my heart of hearts I knew I was right. A trip to the hospital confirmed what I'd suspected, our child had gone on to be with our Lord weeks earlier, about the same time I spoke to my doctor. Our hearts were shattered that day. But today I choose to remember the joy, the joy of that moment when I saw those two little lines appear. I'll see my baby again someday and I'll hold her in my arms and thank God for her life.  Til that day...

Ever had a best friend that just gets you. Someone you tell anything and everything because you can trust them. The kind of friend you can always depend upon. The problem is, we're just humans. We make mistakes, screw up and hurt the people we love. The truth is, there's only one perfect friend. He's the only one that loves with perfect love. He wants us to come to Him with everything, He wants us to trust in Him. Pour out your heart to the one who is our Refuge the only one we can truly trust; our Heavenly Father hears you and loves you. No matter whats going on in your life or happening in this world you can find true comfort in Him alone. Selah. Mel of the NorMel House. Reminding myself once again to put my trust in our perfect friend, our Refuge and our God.