The NorMel House

  5 years ago I held a precious baby boy in my hands, amazed at the intricacies of how we are made. Filled with sorrow that I wouldn't get to watch this little boy grow up, and wondering if my heart could possibly  ever heal from this. Five years ago I said goodbye too soon to my son. Two days ago I found myself in dejavu. Sitting in a hospital bed, holding my precious girl, amazed at her tiny hands and saying goodbye too soon. Five years ago with little Denver Hoeksema in my hands and two days ago, with Dawson Izzy Hoeksema, the worst moment in my life was repeated. 2 babies. 2 awful and world altering days. My heart was once again crushed; for the 9th time overwhelming grief was my companion. I can't even begin to explain the thoughts in my head, the physical pain, or the millions of changing emotions going through me right now. I'm hanging on to a prayer, desperately pleading for this crushing weight to be lifted because I just can't do this. I can't imagine maki...

I never saw you smile Never heard you laugh aloud But my heart still beats for you Still cries for you Would die for you You're my every thought My world has shattered apart The pieces are scattered  My thoughts are scattered  My hopes shattered. I dont see the point this time I just don't understand it at all Lord, how do You choose Who has to lose How do You choose

Dead Dead inside and yet wishing it was actually true. Because it isn't. The truth is I'm alive. I wouldn't really call it living though. I'm existing in a world made up of pain, agony, exhaustion, confusion, and simply existing through it because nothing has killed me yet. Not the times of complete numbness to the world around me, not the extreme emotions that hit like a storm and threaten to take my last breath. They never do, though I wish they would. Seems anything would be better than this. Not too many people would understand my plight, though some may understand parts. I was ok-ish. For a person with depression, Fibromyalgia, Chronic Myofascial Pain Disorder, PMDD, back issues, complete lack of immune system and so many other health problems I was ok. For a while. I accepted that God has taken all 8 of our children to be with Him. I accepted that I would always live in pain. I accepted and even got to the point where I don't even want to raise children in thi...

"I am with you always, even to the end of the age." Matthew 28:20 Yesterday, today and every day.  I am nothing. In and of myself I am just a broken sinner. But for the grace of God I would be lost. In a broken world filled with sorrow, pain, disease, fights and anger only God's grace can heal the heart, calm the soul and bring redemption. May I always seek you first. 

When facing the problems of this world do you believe that God can fix it? It's easy to praise Him when life is easy, but like today's #TuesdayTunes says we need to praise the Lord in every moment! "Praise the Lord with the world on your shoulders Praise the Lord when it seems too hard Praise the Lord 'cause in every moment Jesus Christ is Lord Even in the middle of the long, dark night There is always grace enough today to Praise the Lord" Take a listen to The City Harmonic singing "Praise the Lord"  https://youtu.be/Lm7V-26flkQ #PraisetheLord #Hisgraceisenough #ChristisLord #gracefortoday #TheCityHarmonic

It's easy to believe God can heal the sick when you're healthy. It's easy to believe He can fix broken relationships when yours are good, but when you're confronted by the reality of death and the harshness of this world it can be a lot harder to believe that God can fix it. Jesus said trust me now! Trust that if you believe you will see God's glory. Believing is seeing! Pray for eyes that see! Believe that He is the Saviour sent by God. Believe in Christ for salvation is only in Him; only He has the power to save and to overcome sin and death. The enemy seems strong but when you look away from this broken world to the reality that is found in Christ's resurrection you will see the glory and wisdom of God. As you go through the week pray for eyes that see, and believe. 

By now hundreds of thousands of people have been tested for covid, however if you haven't, you aren't missing anything fun. We had to book our appointments 2 days away as the testing facilities were so busy. They sent us to an arena and told us to go in through the Zamboni doors.  With lots of "No Pictures" signs and double checking health cards we drove in a circle on the arena floor. Last stop? Poking a plastic brush-like thing up your nostril... Not a pleasant feeling, but what can you do? Then it was a waiting game...in isolation with the hubby and 4-legged babies. As symptoms left, new ones came. My body went through all kinds of things and when I called the test results line 5 days later the lady told me it sounded like covid to her, but my results weren't in yet.  Eventually I called and they told me the test was negative but by that point I'd already been quarantined for 2 weeks just in case. Regardless of what it was I had I was still recovering at th...

This week we heard who we should bring our troubles to; who we should turn to when we're going through tough times. What an amazing #blessing to know that the one we turn to listens and hears us! We call on a God who listens! As our #TuesdayTunes says "I’m not just hoping, I’m not just wishin’  I know I’m praying to a God who listens I know He hears me, I know He’s livin’ Yes I am praying to a God who listens" Check out Chris Tomlin and Thomas Rhett's "God who listens" and go through your week with this comfort; knowing that we pray to a God who knows your name, draws you close, and listens to your cries!  https://youtu.be/9sqLqR41Ulg #Godwholistens #ChrisTomlin #ThomasRhett #comfort #Heknowsyourname #Godhears #Godlistens

What do we do when everything seems to fall apart? Where do we turn when the world around us seems to be crumbling and we feel like we just can't take anymore? We often wonder how all these bad things can happen; why do they happen? There is a reason for all things, and the bible tells us that as Christians there is a definite purpose. As a result of our sin the world is no longer perfect, and bad things happen. But is that all? Is that the only purpose??? I don't believe so. One of the things the bible talks about is being refined. We are being refined by our trials, being molded into something better! Zechariah 13:9 "...and refine them as one refines silver and test them as gold is tested..." Isaiah 48:10 "Behold I have refined you, but not as silver' I have tried you in the furnace of affliction" Psalm 66: 10-12 "For You have tried us, O God; You have refined us as silver is refined. You brought us into the net; You laid an oppressive burden upo...

"You have searched me, Lord , and you know me.  You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.  You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.  Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord , know it completely.  You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me.  Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.  Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?  If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.  If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea,  even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.  If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,”  even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.  For you created my inmost being; you...

What do you pray for when troubles and trials feel overwhelming? Most of us pray for God to take them away or fix them, and while there's nothing wrong with asking God to heal the sick or to fix our problems, we need to remember that God knows better than us and sees the whole picture. If His answer is no or not now that doesn't mean we stop praying. Pray for the strength to go through the fires, for an attitude of trust in Him. Ask that His Spirit be alive in you so that the world can see you're different. In Christ, we are different! This week's #TuesdayTunes is a prayer to be " Different " by Micah Tyler.  

"All my hope is in Jesus  Thank God that yesterday’s gone  All my sins are forgiven  I’ve been washed by the blood"  What a blessing we have in Jesus! As you go through your week remember where our hope is found! Today's #TuesdayTunes is an uplifting duet, " All My Hope ", sung by Crowder featuring Tauren Wells. May it bring a smile to your lips and a prayer to your heart thanking God for this great blessing!

There are things in life that take us by complete surprise. Life’s pathway will bring struggles; we each have our own particular heart ache. Yet, we can be confident, we serve a God who knows the beginning and the end! He has given us a light for our path and we must trust our sovereign God; that He knows what He’s doing. When wrestling with assurance we can see that the devil is strong. He will do anything to separate us from God’s love so we must pray for perseverance! We must also pray that we will see God’s presence in our lives and that God will keep His eyes on us. By faith, through grace, we are united with Christ and therefore perfect in God’s sight. When we know in faith, that this is true for ourselves, then we may know that no matter thick or thin, no matter what trial or trouble, we are well protected, for He will hide us in the shadow of His wings. What a blessed comfort it is to us, to enter day by day, knowing that the Father sees His children through the lens of His Son...

Oh how well I know this. When I look at my life and myself I am amazed that God could love a wretch like me. That He sees me better than I even see myself and yet He still calls me His own. I've done nothing to deserve this love; in fact I've done all kinds of things to push Him away, and to deserve the opposite. I am a sinner, I dont deserve His grace, I dont deserve His mercy. How thankful I am that He gives it anyways.  #byGracealone #savedbyGodsGrace #undeservedgrace #thankful #notbymymight #amazinggrace #Godslove #extraordinaryGrace #inChristalone #ChildofGod 

Ok, so I know it's a weed... but theres something beautiful in the intricacies of this puffball. I feel like there's something poetic about it all. Most people would have ripped this weed out of their  garden long before it got to this point (it's stem is more than 3 feet long/tall), but then they would have missed out on how cool it looks! Beauty is found in many forms. I see the beauty in God's design, this plant has a purpose. Maybe it's purpose was simply to cause me to reflect on things, maybe not. Its reminded me to look for the good and the beauty in all things. God's creation is amazing, each life is formed and fashioned by His hand, even the plants and weeds. I mean seriously look at it, it's so neat!  I'm probably rambling; just some things to think on for the day "All things were made through Him, and without Him was not any thing made that was made" John 1:3  #considerthis #Godscreation #Godmadeallthings #beautyintheweed...

On Sunday our preacher quoted this beautiful hymn:  "By faith we see the hand of God In the light of creation's grand design In the lives of those who prove His faithfulness Who walk by faith and not by sight" It's so easy to believe in things you can see, but when it comes to our glorious God we need to have faith. God's Hand is at work everywhere in Creation and although we can't see God, we can see His handiwork. Look at all things through the "lens" of faith.  "Till the race is finished and the work is done We'll walk by faith and not by sight" Check out today's #TuesdayTunes 'By Faith' by Keith & Kristyn Getty #walkbyfaith #Godshandiwork #walkbyfaithnotbysight #KeithandKristynGetty #tiltheraceisfinished #Faith #believe #GodsHandinCreation

We're all lost at some point in our lives; what amazing grace we find in God. That though we're undeserving He saves us! On Sunday we sang Amazing Grace in our church. As you go through you're week remember to thank God for His amazing grace.  Today's #TuesdayTunes is a beautiful rendition of Amazing Grace combined with My Chains Are Gone . Sung by BYU Noteworthy in an a capella cover. https://youtu.be/X6Mtpk4jeVA #amazinggrace #mychainsaregone #BYUNoteworthy #BYU #accapella #undeservedgrace

My heart hurts today. I found out about a friend's loss today and cried. I find they hit me so much harder than before we lost ours. I want so much to say something to comfort but words just cant say enough, can they? I want to go hug her but all this physical distancing stuff has changed so much in society. I feel powerless... although that doesnt even feel like the right word, I cant explain it. My heart and mind are filled with prayers for her and her family, and all those who are grieving. I hope and pray you find comfort and strength in our Heavenly Father. 

#Waiting isn't always easy. Especially when in the depths of #sadness or #despair . But Psalm 130 reminds us to #hope in the Lord. Wait for the Lord for our hope is in Him, in His steadfast #love and #redemption . Sunday morning we sang from #Psalm130 so go forward in your week with this beautiful rendition on your mind. Be #strong and #waitfortheLord !  Check out this week's #TuesdayTunes by Shane and Shane "I will wait for You! Psalm 130"  Shane & Shane https://youtu.be/l8pCbtLeXzc # ShaneandShane  

To say the last few weeks have been difficult would be an understatement. At times it felt like hell on earth. Three weeks ago at this time I was fighting some sort of flu or virus, as well as a pinched nerve in my spine; the combination of the fever, pain, uncontrollable body shaking chills, headache, nausea, dry heaving, body drenching sweats and spasms had me begging for death. In shame, I admit to asking my husband to put an end to my misery, pleading with him for death. I don't remember much from those first couple days other than the pain, and overwhelming desire to have it all end. Despite my husband's pleading, I refused to go to the hospital, terrified of being put in isolation and suffering all alone. With all the fear and regulations due to Covid-19 I knew they would isolate me. Several of the symptoms being recognized as Covid-19 symptoms were wreaking havoc on my body and I wasn't certain if I had it or not. I only knew I was barely hanging on as it was. I was ...

Going through hardships, loss or trials can leave us confused and feeling hurt. We don’t understand why we go through them and can be left feeling brokenhearted. When struggling with life’s disappointments and troubles it’s hard to do as the Bible says in James 1:2 and “count it all joy”. It’s times like these that we need to remember what the Bible says in Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Though we may not always see it or understand God’s plans for us we can always go to Him in prayer. The best thing we can pray is that God’s will be done. His desire and plans for us are better than anything we can dream up or hope for ourselves. As you go through rough times it’s ok to cry out to God, but remember to trust His good will for you. Today’s #TuesdayTunes speaks to the broken hearted in a prayer that reminds us to pray that God’s Will be done.  Check out Hillary S...

In the last few months being able to work has taken on a whole new significance. As some of us are able to start working again it’s important to remember who provides us with opportunities and grants us work. Remember to kneel before the Master and Maker and thank Him for all He has given us. We've been blessed at the NorMel House to have been able to work this whole time. My husband working from home and myself as well! Today’s #TuesdayTunes is a hymn for the working day. As you go through your week remember who to thank and liste n to Keith & Kristyn Getty’s Before You I Kneel (A Worker’s Prayer)

I thank God for the father who raised me. He's kindhearted, generous, giving, loving and has always done his best for me. He raised me to serve and praise the Lord and I am truly grateful. I'm also grateful for the many other fathers in my life. I've been blessed with a wonderful Father-in-law who is wise and caring and has made me to feel grateful for both my families. To my dear husband, you're the best father no one seems to know. You've been a steady rock and Christian through all our children's births and deaths. Though you dont get to parent our children you show love and wisdom with all children. Our arms will be so full when we finally meet our children in heaven. I love you. Fathers come in many forms. To the many fathers in our lives, may you be blessed with wisdom and faith so you can raise your children to God's glory. To the ultimate and perfect Father be all glory. Without you, my Heavenly Father I'd have nothing. 

Love. A word that represents so much; that means many different things; that causes each and every one of us to think of someone or something. Our earthly, sinful nature has put a stain on the word and its true meaning. 1 Corinthians 13:4 – 7 tells us “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” True love is perfect, a reflection of God. God’s love is what we should strive to imitate. If our love is not like His it is hollow and empty. “So, no matter what we say, no matter what we believe, no matter what we do, We're bankrupt without love” Pull out your bible and see what God says about love in 1 Corinthians 13. As you go through this week, strive to show the love of God in all you do. Today’s #TuesdayTunes is a great way to remin...

God’s love is truly amazing. His love is perfect and faithful beyond our comprehension. A love that covers broken hearts and wounds; it is a hand that heals and a hope that’s real. When you’re overwhelmed, broken or hurting, remember that “There are arms that we can lean in to. That always will receive us... The faithful love of Jesus” A lov ely hymn to take you through the week and remind you of God’s perfect love is today’s #TuesdayTunes : The Faithful Love Of Jesus by Hilary Scott

Feeling empty? Lost? Purposeless? Let the Holy Spirit fill you and breathe new life into your soul. Ask God to give you faith for what you cannot see, passion for God's purity. Let the love of God be your purpose, that it may be shown in all you do. Take a listen to today's #TuesdayTunes "Holy Spirit Living Breath Of God" by Keith & Kristyn Geddy

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord .  For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55:8‭-‬9 ESV So great and powerful is our God. It's truly a blessing that we dont always get what we want. God knows all things and what He wants for us is far better than anything we could possibly think of. Trust In God #TIG #trustinGod #greatisHislove #Godsways #ChildofGod #TheNorMelHouse 

Strange times Strange indeed. I cant decide if my mental health is more affected by the social distancing or by the fact that my body is trying to adapt to life "post-fertility treatments ". Its been quite sometime since we lost Petey and it seems that every month my hormonal changes are worse and worse. It's quite possible  my PMDD is coming back with a vengeance.  Having said that, we've been dealing with the repercussions of Covid19 for nearly 10 weeks. At least that's how long the hubby has been working from home now. Or it's possibly all due to allergy season kicking in. Its unbelievably frustrating that I can't go outside without having to pass out before dinnertime. Sleep is not restorative, nor a choice. I'm quite useless lately and maybe that is the reason behind the "low". Its hard to figure out how to fix a specific symptom when you've got many health problems that could be the cause. Oh well, nothing can really be done at th...

Life is full of hurdles and when we look around its easy to despair. Where do you go for help? Who and what do you seek in times of need? Do you turn to food? Drugs? Alcohol? Do you worry and fret and allow yourself to be filled with anxiety? We so easily slip into bad habits and turn to things that won’t help us. Turn to the Lord instead. Open His Word, seek Him and you find Him. Let the peace of Christ fill your heart and mind. Know that our “help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth.” Psalm 121 is a beautiful text about how God is our help. Today’s #TuesdayTunes is a beautiful tribute to Psalm 121 and speaks of how God carries us. Check out For King & Country’s song Shoulders. Let the beauty of this message carry you through the week. For King and Country Shoulders For King & Country Instagram

"Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine O, what a foretaste of glory divine Heir of salvation, purchase of God Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood This is my story, this is my song Praising my Savior all the day long" Oh what blessed assurance this is indeed! We are washed in the blood of Christ Jesus, saved from the death our sins deserve! Today's #TuesdayTunes is a wonderful song to reflect on this week, Blessed Assurance by Third Day.

God amazes me. While walking and playing with the 'daytime kiddos' I've once again been blessed with seeing God's incredible creative power at work. Beautiful tulips, lilacs and more have once again pushed their way through the hardened earth to reach for the sun. Stunning and vibrant colors, soft and pastel colors; an amazing variety of beauty that only God can form. If you've read my previous posts you may remember my ability to garden is prevented by my body's aversion to plants, pollen, trees, grass, etc. Funny how my mind's eye is in awe and wonder at all these things, but my body reacts negatively. Satan tries to hamper our relationship with God in any way he can. I've always found my faith is renewed and my sense of God's presence is strongest when I'm surrounded by His amazing work in creation. The fact that these lovely flowers faithfully return every year reminds me that God is constant and faithful. His love never fails. I've stood...

We often worry about what others think, strive to be accepted or have our priorities in the wrong order. If we look at what is truly important though, we'll never be in want. Put God first and live to His glory and you'll find deliverance from worldly passions, loneliness and so much more. Today's #TuesdayTunes is "I shall not want" by Audrey Assad. I shall not want by Audrey Assad

April has come and gone. Another week has passed, and life seems to have a new 'normal'. Nor is still working from home and we still avoid in person interaction with others where possible. Grocery shopping happens every 2-3 weeks, and we managed to go the entire month of April without needing gas for either car. Seems the money saved on gas has gone towards groceries instead though as our usual No Frills store had to take some precautions when an employee caught covid19. We've been hitting the fortinos instead, which costs a bit more but also means only one stop. It also has a lot more room so it's easier to keep your distance from others. We just enjoyed another game night with friends in the new 'style'. Zoom video chat and online games played with our cell phones. Not quite the same as all being under one roof but it's pretty fun anyways. It felt good to laugh and joke around again. Bit of a rough few days in the body department. It's been a while sin...

I'm not alone, I know that. But some days it sure feels that way. I'm sure I'm not the only one to feel this way; like there's a millstone in the middle of my chest and at any moment I could be crushed by the weight of it. Today there is so much emotion wrapped up in my memory bank; a lot of wondering about the things that might have been. 7 years ago I sat in an emergency room just waiting for the bad news. I knew it was coming. I had told my doctor a few weeks earlier but she had passed it off as first time nerves. I had tried to be positive despite my feelings that something was wrong. I didn't want to believe it, desperately wished it WAS just first times nerves, and up until those words were spoken I held onto that thin light of hope. I don't think you ever forget moments like that. Holding on to Norm's hand like it was a lifebuoy that he could pull me in from the storm with. Because despite him being there, despite it being his child to...

Everyone needs a deliverer. By nature we would all reject The Deliverer, yet God, in His great love, sent Christ to be what we cannot. Jesus stood in our place and died the death we all deserve; how amazing is the Father's love! Today's #TuesdayTunes is Fernando Ortega's lovely rendition of How deep the Father's love. How deep the Father's Love by Fernando Ortega

Forgiveness is something that many of us often struggle with. We may have a hard time forgiving someone for hurting us or we may struggle with wondering if we are truly forgiven by God. The Bible tells us “For I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more.” (Jeremiah 31:34). If we come to God in faith and repentance God will forgive us.  We owe God more than we can ever give; we enjoy God’s mercy, grace and incredible riches at Christ’s expense. Whatever anyone may have done to offend us pales in comparison to what we have done to offend God. Who are we, who have been forgiven so much by God, to withhold forgiveness from others who owe us so little?

We live in strange times, which aren't made any easier by the media. False stories, both to over-scare people and to play it down too much make it confusing to know what is really even happening. For the most part I'm not caught up in either. I believe there's good reason to take lots of precautions and to stay home, but I'm not so overly protective that I don't take walks. I do. When the sun is shining and the weather is nice I make a point of trying to get in a good walk. I still avoid getting even remotely close to other people, but I wave and smile and try to keep things positive. It's been a bit difficult with the crazy weather we've been having though. In the span of a few minutes it can go from sunny and no wind, to dark, stormy looking skies with hard snow pellets flying and smacking you in the face, to rain or back to sunshine. I find, at times, I feel like a yo-yo from all the havoc it wreaks on my body. When I look back to my younger days I feel a...

"I lift my eyes unto the hills Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord The maker of Heaven and Earth" No matter what storms we're going through we can trust that God holds us in His Hands and He is our help in times of trouble. Check out today's #TuesdayTunes , Casting Crowns Praise you in this storm

I think nowadays speaking includes speaking via social media... may I learn to THINK before I speak. 🙏🏻 Is what I want to say: True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary and Kind #HelpmeLord #ChildofGod #THINK

"God is greater than our hearts and He knows everything" (1 John 3:20b) Wow. This is such a huge comfort for the believer! In His omniscience, God knows all things, at all times, effortlessly and intimately. Have you ever tried to count the stars?  "He determines the number of the stars; He gives to all of them their names" (Psalm 147:4) We can't even begin to count them, yet He determined each one, gave them their places, gave them their names! What about the hairs on your head, not as many as the stars in the sky but "even the hairs of your head are all numbered" (Luke 12:7). Does that not fill you with awe and amazement? His knowledge is far beyond our comprehension. He knows all things that are possible, all things that have happened and all things that will happen. We often think we're quite smart yet our knowledge is but a drop in the ocean, just a spec of what God knows. As Christians we ought to be humbled and comforted by all this. We are...

"But now thus says the Lord , He who created you, O Jacob, He who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine." #Isaiah43vs1 ESV How #comforting and #amazing it is that God knows us and calls us by name. Today’s #TuesdayTunes is full of comforting lyrics, ‘He knows my name’ sung by the Maranatha Singers . "My life was in his hands He knows my name He knows my every thought He sees each tear that falls And He hears me when I call"

7 years ago I was pregnant and took up crocheting, somedays it doesn't seem that could possibly be right, other days it feels like a lifetime ago. I guess technically it was 8 little lives ago. Strange how seeing something so simple brings back so much. My little Miya, I was so looking forward to meeting you but I guess I'll have to wait longer still. My arms will be so full in heaven.